A HOUSE REDIVIDED

Answering Machine messages from the Confederacy

2009-12-16T15:39:00.002-05:00

Just received this VHS tape of some answering machine messages from the troops...heartbreaking...hang in there kid!

Mud March

2009-10-11T16:51:00.003-04:00

Now, I'm not the type of blogger to get upset about every thing our opponents say, but this video (see image) is really too much. General Burnside, who demonstrated such bravery and leadership at Antietam that his troops have nicknamed the bridge they fought for after him. Every great leader has his failures, even the great Napoleon who got mired in a Russian winter. So it is beyond insulting that soldiers on both sides are referring to his abortive attempt to cross the river and defeat Robert E. Lee's traitor army as the "Mud March" -- and even worse that their bloggers and musicians are having such fun with it! I am offended! It's not as if we get all full of ourselves and write songs every time the Confederacy makes a mistake or loses a battle. This kind of thing is so beneath us all, and makes a mockery of this war.

Lincoln's birth certificate?

2009-08-02T16:13:00.003-04:00

A few things have come to light recently regarding Lincolns presidency. Specifically if according to the Constitution. I don't know if you're still honoring that, I know we aren't. It seems there might be a few issues with Lincoln's eligibility to even be president. Not that we care or anything, just thought it was another example of northern hypocrisy.

So the South has started a petition to see Lincoln's birth certificate.

Because it's most likely been FAKED!

The Battle of Fredericksburg

2009-07-28T09:51:00.001-04:00


	Since this isn't Mclellan, whose honor do I have defeating in ichat as well as on the field this time?


	Defeating?!?


	I, General Ambrose Burnside of Rhode Island shall suffer no defeat at your hands


	well I wouldn't call antietam a 'victory'


	Antietam was victory enuff, got you out of Maryland didn'it


	we dropped back ....


	to clean the shit out of your pants?


	It's a good thing you're taking your sweet time with the Mclellan playbook


	we've had plenty of time setting up defensive positions


	don't blame me, I want to move fast


	damn Army Corps of Engineers


	I don't think you'll be defeating us so easily


	I should send them down to New Orleans to build levies


	in fact what am I talking about? We'll be up to washington soon nuff


	What a pathetic time to emancipate slaves


	it's so obvious


	lincoln is desparate to seem important


	'Mission accomplished'


	Hey guess what?


	even now it seems you can't get a bridge across thanks to my sharpshooters


	My barges have arrived


	when will you learn?


	time to build a bridge to Fredericksburg


	I've learned.....


	what's that?


	LOL LOL ROTFL


	Those are some biggass gunz driving your sharpshooters out of town


	i'm comin'!!!


	well, that not exactly a fair fight


	They'll be waiting in every church steeple and upper floor


	cowards come out and fight like men


	this kind of fighting is what repelled the british


	you would call those men cowards?


	Ridiculous


	I'm sure you'd prefer british rule


	douche


	i'm sure you'd prefer mob rule!


	mob rule? Is that what you call wanting to govern ourselves?


	no order, just slaveholders and the poor people you oppress


	you don't want to govern yourselves


	you just don't want to admit that you are wrong


	Oh right and there are no 'slaves' in the north


	no child labor, no corruption


	wrong?!!!


	We're fighting for independence


	Didn't we go thru this when Jackson was pres?


	you lost then in the debate


	I don't have time to argue the finer points...AP and DH need some artillery


	you'll lose now in the face of hot lead and cold, hard Union grit


	yur rite, time for fighting


	men, forward & take those heights!!!


	why is it that when we're seemingly outnumbered, outgunned, we end up winning?


	It's really pathetic


	your pathetic


	we obviously are just better soldiers


	period


	well not this time


	my guys are at that stone wall at the foot of the heights


	about to kick some ass


	actually we've separated your attack and are just about to drive you back over the river


	not even close


	my left is totally on top of you


	smith, reynolds and franklin kick ass!


	Oh you mean 'Lee's Hill'?


	you can't just name a hill after yourself!!!


	what if I just named a bridge after myself!?!?


	lolz, i did at Antietam......


	I didn't name it...but when you keep something so long...it kind of seems like it's mine


	not for long


	the bridge i mean


	so I've got the town, the fields to the east, and tons of guys about to fuck you up


	this battle is mine


	hmmmmmm


	seems like you have some tough boys on those heights


	and artillery


	yep


	artillery


	i hadn't planned on that ditch in the middle of the field


	I love that you group everyone together


	making a mess of my lines


	it's a much easier taregt


	dam this keyboard


	iphone?


	those things are hard to write on


	iphone? Yea right. I have an old windows laptop


	sux 2 b u


	this yankee contraption isn't worth shit!


	figures


	i thought bill gates was from the frontier state of california


	I am happy to report another failed attampt at the hill


	we'll get those heights if I have to take them myself!


	damn that old man sumner


	please...try


	i asked you to shoot him at antietam


	hooker fights tho


	and he luvs da booty


	shoot him? Bring him within range


	do I need to know this?


	fightin' joe will save the day!


	You are never taking this hill


	i'm starting to think you might be right about that


	By all means...keep trying


	it's winter


	xmas is coming


	maybe we should all just relax for a while


	have some eggnog


	sure, in the white house!


	the confederate white house


	there is no confederacy! only traitors!


	You'll join Mclellan soon enough


	look


	this whole battle sucks


	With bloodthirsty Lincoln at the helm


	i'm going to go back across the river now and open presents


	you keep your stupid hill


	he's hellbent on killing every last one of you!


	I'm beginning to think he's on our side!


	HA


	you still talking aobut lincoln?


	LOLZ


	while you retreat.... yes


	look you suck so I'm gonna go back across the river and think of a new plan ok?


	kthxbay


	You decimated a good southern town sir


	it will not be fogotten


	there is no such thing as a good southern town


	only rebel towns and smoking craters


	do you think that this will unify the states?


	Laying down one of your own cities?


	This is madness


	many cities will suffer but Union will prevail!


	the cause of the slave is just and right and must be fought to it's conclusion


	I'm going to be the better man here and let you attend to the countless dying men on the hill


	that's my gift to you


	before they freeze to death


	um.... thx i guess


	bye for now


	merry xmas


	traitor


	I'll try to in this shell of a town you've left


	it only makes us stronger


	goodbye

Burnside

2009-07-28T09:45:00.003-04:00

Sorry it's been a while since I've said hi, things have been very busy up here. Maybe you heard? Lincoln finally got sick of McClellan and replaced him with General Ambrose Burnside. Things are looking up!

After the great work Burnside did at the lower bridge at Antietam, he was the obvious choice to lead the army. Sure, Hooker did all the serious work in the Cornfield, and Burnside was a little slow getting across that bridge, and then was surprised by Hill's flank attack and pushed back across the bridge, but he is still the best man we have for the job.

Oh, and FYI, we know you're hiding behind the Rappahannock River and Burnside has a big Christmans present in store for you!!!

Here is a picture of the Commanding General with his best staff officers, Enus and Cletus.

Bacon

2009-07-16T19:05:00.001-04:00

Here's one thing you northerners could never come up with:

bacon and donuts with butterscotch icing.

The Emancipation Proclamation

2009-05-22T11:00:00.002-04:00

After the resounding success of Union forces at the Battle of Antietam, Lincoln has announced his preliminary Emancipation Proclamation, freeing all slaves in states currently in rebellion against the Union. Mission Accomplished!

Matthew Brady Studio presents "The Dead Of Antietam"

2009-05-22T10:53:00.005-04:00

For Immediate Release:

Matthew Brady studio, home of world renowned photographer and portrait artist Matthew Brady, proudly presents a new series of images: THE DEAD OF ANTIETAM

These images, taken just days after this most glorious battle, depict the men of both sides upon the great battlefield. Mr. Brady, along with his assistants Alexander Gardner and Timothy O'Sullivan, have captured a unique view of war never seen by civilian eyes. No painting can ever do justice to battle, now that Mr. Brady has turned his famous lens upon these glorious scenes.

This exhibition has been hailed by The Times thusly:
"Mr. Brady has done something to bring home to us the terrible reality and earnestness of war. If he has not brought bodies and laid them in our dooryards and along streets, he has done something very like it."

Included in this press release are three images from Mr. Brady's exhibition, please consider using them in your publication.

Please address all inquiries to Matthew Brady Studio, New York NY