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|  |  |  |  | Have you heard anything from washington lately? |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | just that McClellan is out, Pope is in |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | Or maybe your messengers haven't been getting word back like they used to? |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | oh, you're talking about how Pope has Jackson bottled up on some farm? |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | Do you miss that supply depot at Manassas? |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | yeah, he'll whip him so easy no one even worries abou tit |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | You trying to go back to where you won before? |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | Well, second time will be a charm for us |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | Ooo, look at that. I've got Jackson right where I want him. |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | The locals say that is the Brawner farm |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | The Black Hat's will crush them |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | It is...Jackson will take down that union column |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | it's just a matter of time |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | I've got 3 whole corps, with more coming all the time from McClellan |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | Fitz John Porter arrived yesterday |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | Longstreet just broke through the thoroughfare gap |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | but you know what, on second thought don't tell Pope that |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | I wouldn't want you to worry about being CRUSHED |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | forget it. Have you even won one battle yet? |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | Stony Ridge will be mine in 2 minutes |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | We have totally won battles |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | Remember Malvern Hill? You got your ass kicked! |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | a dead traitor to his country |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | I've ordered Heitzelman to make sure Jackson doesn't live through the day |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | It seems Sigel is having a little trouble taking the Stony Ridge |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | god dam chat....tell your men to quit cutting that shit |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | that's ok, he'll get it soon |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | it's a good thing useless mcclellan has the majority of your troops occupied elsewhere |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | as long as they get here before longstreet |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | i've already driven you back to that railroad embankment |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | ever heard of the stonewall brigade? |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | hold on, I've got to talk to this rider |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | while you talk, I'll be attacking your flank |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | General Grover is awesome, he'll... |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | well, he didn't get through, but he'll try again |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | ha, he's got some pretty good news |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | it makes sense you yanks aren't worth shit on a horse |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | oh, and you hicks are so awesome? |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | just because we don't find squirrel stew a delicacy? |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | if it was a fight with an abacus you'd probably win |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | Reynolds and Hatch are totally going to outflank you on your right |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | not according to my other IM's |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | who's on the other line? your mom? |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | hey i just got a text message from Reynolds |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | how come you didn't mention Longstreet was here? |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | has he come to cover your retreat? |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | oh yea because we're on the brink of loosing |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | well, since night is falling we'll have to see how things go tomorrow |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | yea, I'm signing off....I'll be on Call of Duty 4 if you're up for it |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | my people are running internet to my tent right now |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | i hope breakfast was yummy because General's Porer, REynolds, Ricketts, Kearny and Hooker are ALL coming to kick your ass!!! |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | that's Porter, i get excited and type too fast |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | wow, it looks like all of Longstreets team is here |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | you must have made them march all night |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | we're totally kicking your as |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | I just got back from the battlefield, longstreets arrived and we aint going nowhere |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | I love that you keep thinking we're retreating |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | it's like you think we're just going to give up? |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | you've underestimated us again |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | it's not like you've got 25,000 guys ready to jump out and attack us |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | thats exactly what's going to happen |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | and we're pretty dug in on this railroad ditch...the odds are pretty much against you |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | August 30, 1862 will be remembered as the day the Union crushed the Confederacy |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | looks like longstreet should just move up to your left flank |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | in fact I just texted him |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | it's funny becuause that's not the end of our line! |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | my iPhone is going nuts with text messages from teh front! |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | It's cool, I'm moving up a few brigades |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | I've got a stars-n-stripes case for it too |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | how are you getting service |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | wait, why are my guys falling back? |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | I'm going to use the coin flip app and decide if I should kick your ass or not |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | Hooker is reforming, so heads I win, tails you loooose |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | oh hey, longstreets IM-ing, gotta run...are we done here? |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | well, it looks like my boys are making a stand at Chinn Ridge |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | so maybe we'll hang out for a while |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | I hope you don't intend on keeping brawner farm |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | where did all these fucking Confederates come from? |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | yea, actually those aren't reinforcements...those are confederate boys! |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | It's like shooting a bunch of dumb slow turkeys |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | we're going back to Washington |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | you aren't taking this ridge |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | oh hey, btw I heard mcclellan saying he wanted to get you out of Wash for a while have you get your ass kicked so he could defend the capitol himself |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | you take orders from that LOLcat |  |  |  |  |
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 |  |  |  |  | and these generals he sent me are worthless |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | you is clozed for biznasss |  |  |  |  |
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|  |  |  |  | should we call it a night? |  |  |  |  |
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