Something is wrong with Lincoln

The Union people are being led by a asymetrical faced mess. I'm not superstitious but has anyone looked into him being a witch or supernatural devil of some kind? Seriously he is ugly.
That in and of itself is not a big deal but now he is dangerous. This is exactly what the devil wants. Leave well enough alone lincoln.
I heard a devil horse flattened the right side of his face and crushed his brain entirely. A witch came and replaced what was left of his tiny brain with frogs eyes and pig testicles.
I demand a medical examination!

This man is not fit for office!