Looking back on the Seven Days

OK, I'll admit it: the last 7 days sucked.

There we were, in the suburbs of Richmond, ready to end this war and make you southerners our bitches. But that dumbass McClellan pushed 25,000 soldiers across the Chickahominy River and left the rest on the east side. Talk about asking for a distaster!

You guys have that new guy, that Robert E. Lee, and he doesn't fuck around. Do you know that we tried to get him when war broke out, but he wouldn't leave his precious Virginia behind. Virginia may be for lovers, but right now its got a shit-ton of our soldiers camped all over it.

Let's face facts, we didn't really lose any of the 7 Days battles. We kicked ass at Mechanicsville. Frayser's Farm was totally our day, and we stomped you pussies at Malvern Hill! Hell yeah.

Thing is, McClellan is a bit... um... well, you know. He's the big General so I don't want to say anything that will get me in trouble, but damn if he could fight his way out of a paper bag. I'm proud of our boys, and how hard they fought, but with generals like McC you guys don't need Lee. Just go down to the school and pick an 8th grader, any one will do.

That said, McClellan may be a pussy but watch out for that General Pope near Manassas. He's got Lee's number and will kick your ass all the way back to Richmond. That is a promise!