Answering Machine messages from the Confederacy

Just received this VHS tape of some answering machine messages from the troops...heartbreaking...hang in there kid!

Mud March

Now, I'm not the type of blogger to get upset about every thing our opponents say, but this video (see image) is really too much. General Burnside, who demonstrated such bravery and leadership at Antietam that his troops have nicknamed the bridge they fought for after him. Every great leader has his failures, even the great Napoleon who got mired in a Russian winter. So it is beyond insulting that soldiers on both sides are referring to his abortive attempt to cross the river and defeat Robert E. Lee's traitor army as the "Mud March" -- and even worse that their bloggers and musicians are having such fun with it! I am offended! It's not as if we get all full of ourselves and write songs every time the Confederacy makes a mistake or loses a battle. This kind of thing is so beneath us all, and makes a mockery of this war.

Lincoln's birth certificate?

A few things have come to light recently regarding Lincolns presidency. Specifically if according to the Constitution. I don't know if you're still honoring that, I know we aren't. It seems there might be a few issues with Lincoln's eligibility to even be president. Not that we care or anything, just thought it was another example of northern hypocrisy.

So the South has started a petition to see Lincoln's birth certificate.

Because it's most likely been FAKED!

The Battle of Fredericksburg

Since this isn't Mclellan, whose honor do I have defeating in ichat as well as on the field this time?
I, General Ambrose Burnside of Rhode Island shall suffer no defeat at your hands
well I wouldn't call antietam a 'victory'
Antietam was victory enuff, got you out of Maryland didn'it
we dropped back ....
to clean the shit out of your pants?
It's a good thing you're taking your sweet time with the Mclellan playbook
we've had plenty of time setting up defensive positions
don't blame me, I want to move fast
damn Army Corps of Engineers
I don't think you'll be defeating us so easily
I should send them down to New Orleans to build levies
in fact what am I talking about? We'll be up to washington soon nuff
What a pathetic time to emancipate slaves
it's so obvious
lincoln is desparate to seem important
'Mission accomplished'
Hey guess what?
even now it seems you can't get a bridge across thanks to my sharpshooters
My barges have arrived
when will you learn?
time to build a bridge to Fredericksburg
I've learned.....
what's that?
Those are some biggass gunz driving your sharpshooters out of town
i'm comin'!!!
well, that not exactly a fair fight
They'll be waiting in every church steeple and upper floor
cowards come out and fight like men
this kind of fighting is what repelled the british
you would call those men cowards?
I'm sure you'd prefer british rule
i'm sure you'd prefer mob rule!
mob rule? Is that what you call wanting to govern ourselves?
no order, just slaveholders and the poor people you oppress
you don't want to govern yourselves
you just don't want to admit that you are wrong
Oh right and there are no 'slaves' in the north
no child labor, no corruption
We're fighting for independence
Didn't we go thru this when Jackson was pres?
you lost then in the debate
I don't have time to argue the finer points...AP and DH need some artillery
you'll lose now in the face of hot lead and cold, hard Union grit
yur rite, time for fighting
men, forward & take those heights!!!
why is it that when we're seemingly outnumbered, outgunned, we end up winning?
It's really pathetic
your pathetic
we obviously are just better soldiers
well not this time
my guys are at that stone wall at the foot of the heights
about to kick some ass
actually we've separated your attack and are just about to drive you back over the river
not even close
my left is totally on top of you
smith, reynolds and franklin kick ass!
Oh you mean 'Lee's Hill'?
you can't just name a hill after yourself!!!
what if I just named a bridge after myself!?!?
lolz, i did at Antietam......
I didn't name it...but when you keep something so kind of seems like it's mine
not for long
the bridge i mean
so I've got the town, the fields to the east, and tons of guys about to fuck you up
this battle is mine
seems like you have some tough boys on those heights
and artillery
i hadn't planned on that ditch in the middle of the field
I love that you group everyone together
making a mess of my lines
it's a much easier taregt
dam this keyboard
those things are hard to write on
iphone? Yea right. I have an old windows laptop
sux 2 b u
this yankee contraption isn't worth shit!
i thought bill gates was from the frontier state of california
I am happy to report another failed attampt at the hill
we'll get those heights if I have to take them myself!
damn that old man sumner
i asked you to shoot him at antietam
hooker fights tho
and he luvs da booty
shoot him? Bring him within range
do I need to know this?
fightin' joe will save the day!
You are never taking this hill
i'm starting to think you might be right about that
By all means...keep trying
it's winter
xmas is coming
maybe we should all just relax for a while
have some eggnog
sure, in the white house!
the confederate white house
there is no confederacy! only traitors!
You'll join Mclellan soon enough
this whole battle sucks
With bloodthirsty Lincoln at the helm
i'm going to go back across the river now and open presents
you keep your stupid hill
he's hellbent on killing every last one of you!
I'm beginning to think he's on our side!
you still talking aobut lincoln?
while you retreat.... yes
look you suck so I'm gonna go back across the river and think of a new plan ok?
You decimated a good southern town sir
it will not be fogotten
there is no such thing as a good southern town
only rebel towns and smoking craters
do you think that this will unify the states?
Laying down one of your own cities?
This is madness
many cities will suffer but Union will prevail!
the cause of the slave is just and right and must be fought to it's conclusion
I'm going to be the better man here and let you attend to the countless dying men on the hill
that's my gift to you
before they freeze to death
um.... thx i guess
bye for now
merry xmas
I'll try to in this shell of a town you've left
it only makes us stronger