We Want To Help

While we understand that the election of Mr. Lincoln has upset some of the more radical voices in your community, we also know that the great men of the Southern States place great value in our common union. We would like to assist you in holding back the more radical ideas so that we can work together for the future.

With this in mind, we are sending re-enforcement troops to Fort Sumter in Charlston, since it is obvious that South Carolina is a hotbed of radical activity. We hope that you will accept these troops in the spirit which they are intended, and use their presence to keep things in order.

Remember, a house divided against itself cannot stand. There's no real need to bicker over slavery, because we know Lincoln won't be dumb enough to try to do anything about it. In four years we'll be back to business as usual.